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Pink Pearls Magazine Issue Nr. 5

presents the European lesbian scene

Coming out: Anjelika from Moldova

The rights of the LGBT community in Eastern Europe are nothing like they are in the West. Anjelika from Moldova knows all about it. Her coming-out was a horrible nightmare.

~ By Jolanda Groot

“I fell in love with boys because all girls did, because that was the way it should be. I got married to a friend and became pregnant. But you can’t be happy living with a person who doesn’t get what he needs from this relationship, while you don’t receive what you need. And then I met this woman, who touched me and who filled my life with happiness and meaning. Suddenly I knew who I was, what I wanted, because I recognized myself!”

“I had heard a lot of stories about the sufferings many people experienced when they had become aware of their homosexuality. Stories of how hard it was for them to finally embrace themselves. But I wanted to live. I started visiting Russian forums and chat rooms where girls came. This is how I met the one who would change my life. I am not the kind of a person who would lead a double life or lie. I am used to be open and sincere to myself, but also to other people. And I didn’t expect any understanding for my coming-out. But I had never thought the situation would turn out like it did.”

“The following months were absolute horror. First, I was on my own and later with my girlfriend, who left her university, home, friends, town and her country to be with me. Every day we were together could be the last one, as they wanted to separate us. My mother and my ex-husband were united in a ‘holy war’ to save me from my misfortune, from my delusion. In that war, everything was allowed to try and separate us.”

“At the police station, the officers aimed to ‘help the husband keep his wife and throw the lesbian who came to destroy the family out of the country’. Nobody cared about my feelings or wishes. People simply assumed they had the right to affect my life according to their views and principles. Every time the police saw us walking down the street, they took us to the station. There, they tried to threat us and persuade us to split up. The head of the passport office refused to issue a registration for my girlfriend. In his office he insulted her, threw her passport at her and said there was no place for lesbians in this country.”

“Even my son’s teacher interfered with our situation with a story about sins. To avoid any more stress for him, I was forced to transfer my child to another school. The migration police had my girlfriend shadowed. I can talk for hours about the obstacles and barriers we had to overcome in order to be together. Looking back, I wonder how we both were able to resist all those attacks on our relationship. The only answer I can think of is that love is the inexhaustible source of power and determination. But not only love gave us strength, we also had many friends helping us in time of need. We had forces of the universe on our side, standing for our love. And we also had a lot of people with a mission in our lives, who disappeared again after the mission was completed.”

“This is also how we came in touch with GenderDoc-M, the organization fighting for equal rights for the LGBT community. The staff was listening to us for three hours without any interruption. They linked us to a lawyer to guide us in the process that followed. I was also promised legal assistance in court to fight for custody over my son, as my mother and my ex-husband wanted to take my child away from me. This is how our rights were eventually respected, and the police officers who had troubled us so much were punished. In court, the opposition tried to use my sexual orientation against me, but fortunately the judge decided that I was the better parent for our child.”

“We were so happy. My mother changed her attitude towards me and my ex-husband disappeared from my life forever. I now enjoy my own life and I am happy. I’m surrounded by friends and a family, my son accepts and understands me and is happy too. If I would go through all this again if I needed to? Yes, absolutely. I want to be able to be myself, no matter what.”

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pink-Freedom-for-Western-and-Eastern-Europe/202913519744876

What else is in this issue?

Foreword

Making new contacts through holidays, parties and lesbian entrepreneurs

Now that fall has arrived in The Netherlands and winter is just around the corner, I look back at last summer.  With a good feeling, because the summer was beautiful and lovely in many ways. » Read more

General

Carmen Lothmann didn't let her mother stop her

Carmen Lothmann is forty-two, and born in the catholic Bergstein, a village near the city of Düren. She grew up in a very traditional family. » Read more

Interviews

Electric landladies: music to the ears....

Making music together, sounding impressive and full of ambition. These are all happy words for a group of musicians from London and South-East London. We met them during the 12th edition of Scala Erossos international… » Read more

Travel

Festival report 2012 of the International Eressos Women's Festival on Lesbos

In September, this year, hundreds of lesbian and bisexual women visited the International Eressos Women’s Festival on Lesbos, organised for the 12th time by the Greek organiser Sappho Women. Women from all over the world… » Read more

News

Pink Pearls Amsterdam sends monthly newsletter

  From now you can register for our monthly newsletter. With this newsletter, we will inform you per e-mail about our latest offers and activities. Registration can be done via the website. » Read more

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